And the winner of Burger Wellington is…

… as yet undecided. I just said that to lure you into my review.

It’s day six of Visa Wellington On a Plate, and that means that Stuff journo, Greer McDonald, has just nine days to finish sampling all of the 33 burgers entered in the Burger Wellington competition.

Lee and I have eaten just four burgers so far, which is possibly more than you but less than Ms McDonald. Having taken a core sample at Burger Fuel the other week, we feel able to offer meaningful feedback, rather than simply squandering drunkenly mis-keyed Text votes in an effort to win the flash barbecue. Because burgers are important.

The patty is, of course, the lynchpin. So far, it’s Bisque on Bolton’s venison version that’s blazed a trail. Although the burger purist might deem it newfangled – along with wagyu and mesclun – deer was born to be burgered. It’s lean, full of flavour, and loves to be left pink and therefore tender. Mac’s Brewery Bar’s vegetarian patty, however, merits special mention. I adore chickpeas so am undoubtedly biased, but this big chickpea patty was so scrumptious it could only have been made by a masterchef of Middle East extraction. Sure enough, the chef is Iraqi. Falafel fans – get thee to Mac’s.

We took a close look at buns. While we expected more sesame seeds, only Mac’s obliged (we awarded a quarter of a point right there). Olive, however, with their homemade potato bread, totally mashed the opposition. Just the right size, their bun had good bite and a lightly crisped crust. Bisque, in a risky deviation from the classical form, ultimately disappointed with their cookie-cutter circles on the bottom of a neatly rounded stack. Pretty maybe, but where was the lid?

To cheese or not to cheese? That is the question. Unless fish or falafel, the answer is yes. Congratulations to The Tasting Room for their inspired addition of melted Te Horo Swiss. Yum yum. Bisque’s venison patty was also well complemented, this time by Kingsmeade feta, alongside tamarillo chutney, roasted onion and beetroot.

Beetroot belongs. It’s an automatic half a point as far as I’m concerned. The Tasting Room went Americano with gherkin, which added equivalent zing. But you’re not in Guatemala now, Dr Ropata. Beetroot is the New Zealand gherkin, is it not?

Salad schmalad. Only Olive made it worthwhile, offering a rocket–iceberg combo with peppery crunch. There was some thinly sliced tomato here and there, which is all to the good, but even better was the total lack of cucumber. There is a God.

A saucy aside. The best additions were classic mayo, or a good fruit relish. Olive’s brown aioli was just plain weird.

I’m not going to say too much about chips, because this isn’t Chip Wellington (although it’s not a bad idea). But let me just say that while I like the aesthetic of those precision-cut, oversized chips stacked in the Jenga style, they’re not a patch on a French fries à la Pick Up Sticks.

Bennett & Slater score…

[4.25] Bisque on Bolton Memorable flavour and flash form (Fare Game, Wairarapa venison open burger with tamarillo chutney, Kingsmeade feta + micro-taco salad garnish + chunky fries, $20)

[3.75] Tasting Room Classy classic with splendid cheese (Wagyu Wonder Burger, wagyu beef, Te Horo Swiss cheese, gherkin, lettuce, tomato, chutney + chunky fries, $20)

[3.5]  Mac’s Brewery Bar Falafel extraordinaire (Chickpea patty, mesclun, mint & yoghurt dressing, mayo + French fries, $17)

[3.5 ]  Olive Beautiful bread, sad sauce (Burger Me Senseless, grass-fed chuck steak mince, balsamic onions, lettuce and rocket, spicy aioli on an Olive-made potato bread bun + sauté potatoes, $18)